ME - the Professional

I have always wondered (m still wondering) if I was a misfit in corporate culture.. Professional culture! What is it? Well! even I am confused.. Is it that I have to pretend that I am working, when every one else knows that I don't have any work? or Is it to pretend that I don't know whats happening around me, when people around me don't want me to know what I already know? or Is it sharing the best positive sides of myself so that I can see a better chance of getting promoted, or is it just hiding my negatives becomes I don't want my peers (read my competitors) to know what I am weak at? Or is it that I can talk about only 8 hours (office hours) or 33 percent of my life each day to people whom I now see more than my family and friends, and can't share the rest 66 percent because that is informal and they may not listen..

Suddenly I am seeing a transition in myself.. Every passing day I am becoming a part of this system.. Every passing day I am running faster to compete in this mad race (even I know there is no end but still I am competing, I don't know why..!!!) I get up everyday with the reason to reach office on time.. I try to leave office on time so that I can get back home in time, have a nice sleep to be able to get up for the office again.. Suddenly my life is revolving round one single word "OFFICE".. I get worried if some one isn't coming to office daily, some is spending late hours in office... The talks with friends (meeting friends now needs a occasion and a week of planning, I was corrected by a friend recently that the people I work with in office are not friends, they are colleagues.. well! I really don't know the difference, but there definitely is 1) have reduced to "OFFICE TALKS", we discuss the latest happenings in offices, crib about the high CTCs and low in-hands..!!! but in the end its all about OFFICE.. I try to avoid asking a friend about his/her PERSONAL lyf.. (earlier there was no gap I could ask my friend whatever I wanted, never bothered how he/she would feel).. Suddenly I am losing the touch with personal self.. not able to find time for myself, my own hobbies, my interests because otherwise I may get late to OFFICE.., I prefer avoiding friend at night (I used to do that a lot earlier just to wake them up never worried about the GAALIS they will throw at me, but now I am not worried about the GALLIS, but what they will think about me).. The gap is growing.. Is it what professionalism is...!! Have I finally become a PROFESSIONAL..!!

P.S. For a friend whom I miss and love!