My "Committed/Married" Friend

Since last one year, lots of people around me have either started getting engaged or married. In short many of my very good friends are losing their bachelorhood. I have been kind of noticing their activities for quiet long now. So I noticed some things which I found interesting and decided to put them down. The post is about a journey of a person from his engagement to wedding ceremony.

(Any resemblance to any of my good “committed/married” friends is deliberate to make them realize “Buddies you have changed..!”)

Scene 1: The guy (referred to as S, btw my rommie rocks) meets his friends for the first time. This is actually his party.

Friend1: Dude where is S?

I: Donno yaar, I think he is on phone. He will be back in a while. He said that we can order whatever we like.

30 minutes had passed , and S still was not back.

Friend2: Lets go and check; maybe he is in some kind of trouble.

Friend1: Let me call him, I think if he is in trouble he will pick.

Friend 1 calls. “Aapke dwara dial kiya gaya number vasyat hai.. kripya thodi daer baad dial Karen..”

I: What did he say? Is he fine?

Friend1: That ass is still on phone. Donno, who is on the line?

Well we all knew the answer. Our friend was taken. He was no more our friend only or rather he was sum one’s some first and then our friend. S returned back after an hour to go back only in 15 mins. We were supposedly in that get together for 4 hours. But, our dear friend spent most of the time on phone. Discussing God knows what..?

Scene 2: It’s a weekend and we decide to visit a shopping mall (actual intention is to check the crowd there) and purchase stuff.

We are roaming around the mall; suddenly S enters “LIFESTYLE”

Friend1: Dude, it’s too crowded here, let’s go some other place. Btw EPL is going on; we can go to the sports bar upstairs and watch the match.

S: Actually I wanted to check out some stuff. You guys continue, I will join you in some time.

I: No let’s go together. Anyways we had come together, no point splitting up. We will finish whatever S wants to buy and then go to other place.

Friend2: I think it’s a great idea. So S, what you looking for.

S (very casually): Nothing yaar, need to buy shampoo and stuff.

Friend1: Oki, this way. Cosmetics are kept in the corner there.

We all went there. (Well do give some background about this Mr. S of ours. Mr. S is a very genuine guy who has his mind and priorities in a very right spot. A very simple guy. Well! Very simple till now.) S starts checking out latest cosmetics from HuL to PnG to the latest herbal care brand. We all are looking surprised. We had to get a carry bag for S so that he could carry the stuff home.

Friend1: What’s all this for? Shouldn’t you be using one brand only?

S: Well yaar, actually I read somewhere that a conditioner after a shampoo, makes your hair look good, smooth and silky.

Well here was a friend of ours, so completely focused in life that he hardly cared about things like brand, shampoos, soaps etc. But now, with marriage couple of months away, he has recognized the importance of looking fairer and handsome. Now we don’t go to malls to check the crowd but the latest cosmetic items on display. (Yes, I think there should be beauty parlors for guys also)

These are just two instances; I need to mention our Mr. S can’t get up in the morning. Well in fact he can’t get up for office also. But does this habit stop him from getting up early morning and leaving home early so that he can see SOME ONE before she enters her exam hall and wishes her luck. Yea, not to mention, our Mr. S has become a responsible room-mate. He has started caring about things in the house like why bai didn’t clean the room properly, why stuff is lying here and there. When asked about the abrupt change in attitude he replied, “Bhai, you bhabi doesn’t like me being irresponsible!” and then there were no questions asked and no explanations given!

"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Well I believe Mr. R.W.Emerson was quite right when he said the above lines. Anyways, I wish all my friends, who are about to lose control over their life, luck and life.

And as they say “Change is the only thing that is constant”

An apology

So here is the situation, my best friend is angry with me because of the "PARTICULAR" lines in some of posts... So I thought since the reason for anger is some of lines in the blog.. why not issue an apology on the blog only..

Dear Best Friend,

I am really sorry if some of the lines on the blog hurt you.. Actually they were meant because of the particular frame of the mind I was in.. The lines had nothing to do what-so-ever with whatever you thought.. If any resemblence is found with anything, I am ready to be tried in the any legal jurisdiction you wish..

Also I want to say it again.. as I keep on saying "You are a necessary ingredient" (:P) to my life.. Please don't feel bad..!!! I am a emotionally challenged person and its been a habit of hurting feelings of people who definitely do matter a lot..

Knowing you has been a dream come true... I donno if there is a person who is as sweet, caring and matured as u.. Thanks for accepting me the way I am.. You have nva askd for anything in return.. while I kept on asking for forgiveness for all the dumb things I have done and keep on doing.. So. as usual please forgive me.. as usual just give a smile without saying anything that makes me feel.. oki I can repeat the dumb act again..

I AM SORRY..! (I know if you are reading this, you will first smile and then curse me at the top of your voice for being sorry.. So since you will be angry again for me being sorry.. I am sorry again for making you angry again :P )

Cheers!

P.S. I am sorry if I ever said something I shouldn't have.. I know I do act dumb at times

An MBA in Action

I realised that I haven't written a post for 5 days so just thought will write something.. Don't really have a topic in mind to write about.. but there are so many things I have done in life aimlessly.. that I can afford one more.!

So the dilemma is what I shud write about..

Well I can write about myself..!! Nah! still not comfortable to discuss household and personal issues on blog ..btw I havn't still figured out the difference between personal and professional.. I at times do wonder given a particular situation.. if its from my personal life or professional.. Too bad na! many will think.. I am too dumb to figure out the difference.. Well..a lil dumbness is necessary to keep some spice in life.. this is sumthing most of us will agree to.., or

I can write about the latest happenings in office.. well I am now almost 4 months into job.. and I kinda have realised.. office-chats on public forums don't help much.. infac office-chats don't help much anywhere.. every1 noes everything but no1 wants to discuss it in public.., or

Btw.. I am going home next month so I can write about what I miss most about my home.. I can write about my family.. bt.. who doesn't miss his/her home.. we all love our family and we believe they are the best.. so if I tell you that I got the best parents in the world.. you will tell me you got better.. Btw.. if you look.. hw relative things can be in this world.. for a kashmiri, a "very cold" for a person from Goa or Maharastra.. is "no cold"..or its "oki cold".., well

I can write about how much sick I find Sach ka Samna.. I feel its disgusting ..but to tell the truth I do have a curiosity to watch what the answer is gonna be.. What reaction will the person's (one taking the show) family have..?.. Most of us don't like the show.. But still the show has one of the best TRPs.. same was true with the crappiest (donno if its the correct word) . RAKHI ka SWYAMVAR.. it did hav the best TRPs.. n hw much we crib.. some of us still went on to watch it.. Criousity is the very foundation of our existence..!!!

There are a thousand things.. to write about.. I can write about an old friend with whom I have fought "N" (literally N) number of times.. n still when I am in problem my fingers automatically type her number on the phone.. There are so many people in our lives... who influence it in some way or the other.. without us knowing.. We end up either admiring them.. or constanly getting in touch with them.. we jus love being influenced by them..

I just realized that I went on to write 469 words.. without any thing in mind.. aimlessly.. trying to arrive at a "TOPIC".. well I tell you..( for those who have done MBA or are doing.. they will be able to relate.. for other who are still in the process of thinking of doing an MBA this is important).. this is my BIGGEST LEARNING... For two years.. I have spent hours discussing a problem in the case.. solution just took 2 mins.. we already had wasted so much time discussing the problem that there was no time finding the solution.. so what did we do.. well CCP.. GOOGLE.. Check for college shared databases.. If still there is a problem.. just give some Global.. that is totally acceptable..

Just check.. I used 469 words to find a topic.. and when I finally found a topic.. it jus took me 4 lines to explain it.. This is called An MBA IN ACTION..!

India's District 9

To set the context of this post, District 9 is a movie I watched yesterday (Don't ask me who was the director, the actor? blah! blah! Actually I noe I should remember their names, but then thats the way I am). Its an AMAZING movie, this term is very rarely used by me for a movie (Last time I used this term was when I watched HANGOVER).

So the story is like this, about 20 years back some alien ship lands on the earth and some of its component goes missing so the aliens can't go back and have to settle on this planet in small "temporary" houses created for them by the goverment and the place of settlement is called District 9. The place becomes a slum slowly and gradually. Crime increases and so does the violence. Humans and Alien rioting starts. Govt. after a lot of deliberation decides to move those aliens out of the place to a new location (District 10), which it says is better (Later the lead actor denies this by saying that the new location is just like a concentration camp). So govt. appoints an pvt. agency, pvt. guards to move the aliens. Aliens love "CAT FOOD" and govt. uses that to bribe them to leave. Some are forcefully made to leave and others who don't agree are beaten up. And then ! (Well its a nice movie and you should watch it).

look at a parallel one - a real one - a human one!

In 1989-90, 7 lakh Kashmiri Pandits (Fig. often quoted by KP organizations) left Kashmir, due to violence that had erupted (people on the other side of Pir panjal, the terrain that seperate Jammu from Kashmir, disagree with this theory and say that Jagmohan made KPs leave Kashmir, well! THIS IS NOT TRUE). So govt. came up with a nice idea of creating a "TEMPORARY" tent-houses for Pandits because the displacement was temporary and they will move back once things get normalized. The location was selected at four places: Purkhoo, Misriwalla and Muthi (in Jammu) and Batalbali (in Udhampur).. People started to adjust to the climatic condition in Jammu (there have been more than 30000 deaths because people couldn't cope up with the hostile hot climate of Jammu, more than 1 lakh people suffer from dieseases like diabetes etc., which were not at all known in Kashmir).. Later govt. went on to build ONE ROOM (very much in literal sense, it was a 10x10 room) for each REGISTERED family (Yes! KPs had to register that they have suffered, there was a process in place when registration could be done. If you aren't registered you can't get a benefit of being displaced).. Well registration meant more corruption more delay and more problems for the displaced people.. So families which were registered got the one room quarters (there have been cases of 10 people from a family staying in one 10x8 room, howzz tat.. no less than a concentration camp).. Men had no work.. no employment so what did they do all day.. couldn't sit all day in the quarter .. so they went and sat at shops.. they started gambling with whateva money they had.. children in those camps had less hope.. survival everyday was a fight.. (it still is!).. Groups were formed like Panun Kashmir, JKVM etc. by KPs to put pressure on govt. both state and centre to allow them a honorable and safe return back to their homes! (Most of you may not have heard this story, thanks to our MEDIA.. coz this is not sensational and neither do we have enuf votes to decide the fate of this country)

So finally state govt. (outta no affection for the community, but just to hide it ineffectiveness and make money from the centre) has come up with a package. (Remember CAT FOOD!). They will provide a job to family of each person who so ever want so return. Hell ya! they are bribing people in the open to return back (the valley is still not safe to live, Nadimarg, Wandhama, Chattingspura do happen, Sorry if you don't know about these.. jus google them out..they were the most barbaric massarces that have happened... but... no one knows.. Shame on Media.. Shame on US!)..

This is not all.. New recruits in govt. departments are being deliberately askd to join in valley.. how does this help:

1. If you join, govt. can claim KPs r returning back.

2. If you don't you lose the job, and some one from THEIR VOTEBANK gets its

(Heads I win, Tails you lose!)

Anyways a few registered families have accepted govt's proposal.. but the hope to go back is still there.. We want to go back.. bt not in govt. made temporary accomodation.. bt to our homes..

Ending with a famous quote by Lal-ded (she was a lady kashmiri saint)

"Zu chum karan ghar gazach ha" (all I want is to go back HOME)

P.S. Thanks to people in Jammu.. they have accepted us with open hands.. we owe them a lot.. and yes this is only the half of the story.. there are migrants from Jammu region for whom govt. has done nothin..

Right Step - Wrong time!

So govt. has decided that CBSE boards for 10th will be taken off from 2011.

Well first reaction @$^$%@^ why didn't you get that sense few years back! I could have saved myself from the constant pain of looking around and seeing how good other people where doing, the pressure to perform better, relatives checking in and asking " How are your studies going" (This was not outta any affection, but to make sure they kept a constant tab of my activities so that they could know whether I am going to perform better / worse than their respective sons/daughters).

I thank my parents, infac I thank God, for the amazing parents I have, no pressure nothing, but just a word "Don't overwork yourself"! My mom's major concern was my health than anything else during exam days. I remember my dad coming into my room (if I was studying late nights) to go off to sleep as it was already very late.

Second reaction, is this model operative in India? My doubt given the kind of education curriculum we have presently. CBSE NCERT has done a nice job of deleting some irrelevant stuff and adding some relevant stuff to the curriculum in past few years. But how much will the changing books and syllabus help!!! Faculty remains the same and so do their teaching methods. Private schools in India can be grouped in two: Big private school societies (DPS, GD Goenka) and local private schools (like the one I studied in). Big private schools given the kind of resources they have may be able to adapt to the new model very quickly. So this leaves behind government schools and small private schools. Resources are a constraint for these schools and the facutly they have is old and used to old methods of teaching. The new model presents quite a lot of challenges for them. The students in such schools don't have much exposure to outside. There are not many school fests, competitions (Competitions I mean relevant National Level Competitions), technology availability is an issue. So exams in such case are a better way of judging the competency of a particular person (though they may not be the best but they were good enough). How many such schools have training program and coaching programs for teachers. What is the level of salaries given to teachers to attract the best to teach! Well these questions are still question marks..!! Exams atleast made sure that students went back and studied on their own..!

The govt. gave increased suicide rates and increasing burden on students the reason for taking out the examination! But how do you filter the NICHE! Go back and look at the stats, how many suicide cases have happened outside metros, well the figure will be almost neligible.. The step may be in the right direction.. But is it the right one given almost 70-80 percent (no source here, my guess.. ) of schools don't provide a platform and infrastructure for students to realize what their potential is, My only concern is whether this is the RIGHT TIME for this step.. or did we jus take a long jump and miss few important steps.

P.S. .!.!...!..!.

Impatience revisited.

Son: Father what time will the train reach?

Father: I think its late, even i am travelling for the first time in this train, I have checked with people and they say its 4 hours late.. Now stop bugging me and let me sleep.. And why are you worried? We will reach there on time..

(Boy tries to sleep, but just can't get sleep every ten minutes he wakes up.. checks with every second chai walla.. "Bhaiya when will this train reach?")

Sumegh and I were waiting for the bus and it was already half an hour past the departure time on the ticket.. We called up the bus driver about 5-6 times.. and everytime we got the same answer "Bus traffic main Dharavi main fassi hai, time lagega.. 20 min lagega".. I think we walked about a kilometer to and fro the shops at chembur.. asking almost every shop walla again and again "What time will Neeta Travels come?"

Finally its well past 11:10pm..

Father: Wake up, we are here.. WAKE UP!

(Boy just throws the blanket away.. and gets ready to unboard the train.. Its raining heavily, father and son search for the prepaid taxi counter)

Father: How much?

Counter guy: Sir Rs650 only.

Father: The taxi walla said he will charge only Rs 500, generally prepaid counter should be charging less

Counter boy: Kya karega sir, off season hai.. customer aata nai hai.. humko association ko be paisa dena hota hai.

(Finally they stuck at deal at Rs 500.. Father and son get into the old maruti van, driven by a old driver.. who can jus see through his broken glasses)

Driver: Sahab , where you want to go?

Father: We are looking for a hotel

Son: Why hotel? lets go directly na.. tey said they will allow parents also. I will get to meet people

Father: Are you mad? Its already 12.. What you expect? People with garlands to welcome you.. And stop being impatient.Idiot!

Finally the bus is at chembur.. Sumegh and I get on the bus.. praying it reaches on time to Goa.. Bus stops after 1 hour of journey at some place outside Mumbai.. Sumegh and I are constanly uttering the best gallis we know.. we both just want to reach goa.. Finally the bus starts and we feel sleep waking only at 6:45 am, once the bus stops at a hotel for breakfast.. The gallis are back..

Sumegh: "Why the bloody, can't they hav breakfast once we reach goa.."

Finally father and the son reach a hotel..

Father: Get a good sleep.. You must be tired.. We will go tommorow morning..!

Boy (to himself): I am not tired.. I just want to go..

Boy: Pa wat time we will go..

Father: wat time does the office open?

Boy: I don't know but I think it opens at 8:30 in the morning

Father: Then we will go around 11.

Boy: 11? wont it be too late? I want to go early.. I may not get a good room if we dont reach early..

Father: Oki lets c in the morning. Now just go to sleep

Finally father is persuaded and he and the boy reach the place at 9am only to find that every one is sleeping.. father scolds the son for his impatience.. but the son is already in his dream world.. he has fallen for the place.. he jus loves it..

Bus reaches exactly at 11 in the morning and we go to sumegh's place to freshen up.. I just wanted to go to college.. But after having amazing breakfast Aunty (Sumegh's mom) had made, I wanted to stay back till dinner also.. we had lunch.. amazing food.. I was full! (havn't eaten so much since i left home in May)... So finally it was time to visit GIM again.. and I couldn't wait reaching there once I got into the car..

I visited the placed after 6 months.. but the impatience to reach back was still the same as I had when I came the first time.. I just wanted to see the place.. (the feeling was the same, just like one I have when I am too enthu to reach home town to meet my loved ones).. Anyways the two days passed like a flash! I didnt want to come back to Mumbai.. No one wanted.. Every one of us was jus trying to delay.. get another 5-10-15 mins wateva from the time so that he/she can spend the time at this place.

P.S. I am back after 2 days of stay at Goa.. back to mumbai.. back to traffic jams.. back to smoke.. back to noise.. back to the rush in the locals.. back to the mad race.. but donno now I have kinda started feeling a sense of belongingness to this place.. I actually missed this place in Goa..!

ME - the Professional

I have always wondered (m still wondering) if I was a misfit in corporate culture.. Professional culture! What is it? Well! even I am confused.. Is it that I have to pretend that I am working, when every one else knows that I don't have any work? or Is it to pretend that I don't know whats happening around me, when people around me don't want me to know what I already know? or Is it sharing the best positive sides of myself so that I can see a better chance of getting promoted, or is it just hiding my negatives becomes I don't want my peers (read my competitors) to know what I am weak at? Or is it that I can talk about only 8 hours (office hours) or 33 percent of my life each day to people whom I now see more than my family and friends, and can't share the rest 66 percent because that is informal and they may not listen..

Suddenly I am seeing a transition in myself.. Every passing day I am becoming a part of this system.. Every passing day I am running faster to compete in this mad race (even I know there is no end but still I am competing, I don't know why..!!!) I get up everyday with the reason to reach office on time.. I try to leave office on time so that I can get back home in time, have a nice sleep to be able to get up for the office again.. Suddenly my life is revolving round one single word "OFFICE".. I get worried if some one isn't coming to office daily, some is spending late hours in office... The talks with friends (meeting friends now needs a occasion and a week of planning, I was corrected by a friend recently that the people I work with in office are not friends, they are colleagues.. well! I really don't know the difference, but there definitely is 1) have reduced to "OFFICE TALKS", we discuss the latest happenings in offices, crib about the high CTCs and low in-hands..!!! but in the end its all about OFFICE.. I try to avoid asking a friend about his/her PERSONAL lyf.. (earlier there was no gap I could ask my friend whatever I wanted, never bothered how he/she would feel).. Suddenly I am losing the touch with personal self.. not able to find time for myself, my own hobbies, my interests because otherwise I may get late to OFFICE.., I prefer avoiding friend at night (I used to do that a lot earlier just to wake them up never worried about the GAALIS they will throw at me, but now I am not worried about the GALLIS, but what they will think about me).. The gap is growing.. Is it what professionalism is...!! Have I finally become a PROFESSIONAL..!!

P.S. For a friend whom I miss and love!

Travelling back the memory lane

This weekend I am travelling back to the memory lane to live back the two best years of my life.. I am travelling to meet again the most amazing people I have met, people whom I have missed for past 5 months as I miss my family.. I am travelling back to re-live the ferry ride.. I am travelling back to enjoy the bakar and latest gossip @ Genes, Jaggus and Casa.. I am travelling back to re-live the late night-early morning rides to Fidalgo.. I am travelling back because I miss the semi cooked food @ Mess.. I am travelling back to meet the faculty who made me a better person (if not good).. I am travelling back to live back the parties @ Titos.. I am travelling back to see the sunrise @ Chapora.. I am travelling back to remember those birthday bashings @ quad.. I am travelling back to remember those late night CCPed submissions... I am travelling back to enjoy the Basanti cup - the electrified cheerleading.. I travelling back to relive the memories of last two years of my life..

I am travelling because every passing day my urge to go back is growing.. I am travelling back because I want those 2 years of my life to come back..

I am travelling back because I miss my alma-mater "Goa Institute of Management" - my second home.

BJP, Jinnah and the crisis

In India only tow topics are interesting: Cricket and Politics. Suddenly Indian cricket team has stopped playing matches too often but still the debate and the "BREAKING NEWS" has continued.. Suddenly Arun Jaitley who hosted Sehwag's wedding at his house has become a enemy and they need a moderator (read M.A.Pataudi) to find the solution...

Coming back! Cricket is one of my interests.. But the most interesting thing (I find it kinda interesting) these days on new channels is the "CRISIS IN BJP".. I was an admirer of this party for the kind of development work they did.. (Golden Quardilateral, Interlinking of rivers, Reservation for Women, Pokran II to name a few..).. Now questions are being raised on most of them if not all... Suddenly BJP's loyalist Jaswant Singhs, Arun Shouries are condemned for speaking - this was the party which used to mention that they stood for democracy and not anarchy (read congress, where one family continues to occupy the chair).. But the crisis isnt more about whether expression of thought is allowed.. its more about if a new different approach is acceptable..

Was Jinnah a nice man! I wasn't born in his times and haven't read enough history to know but definitely a man who could create a nation out of nothing should have something in him.. He was a congress loyalist and the messaih of Hindu-Muslim unity, but his hunger for power increased because he thought he won't have a role to play in New Independent India. ( I remember reading this line in my history book in school).. Whatever may be the reason, he is dead but even after his death he is creating problems for the party (which called itself the modern National party against a "ages old Bhudiya", Mr. Modi said this)..

Coming back! So now RSS (the BJP mentors) have decided that Iron Man (Mr. Advani) should retire and hand over the reins to the young blood in the party (young in politics is defined above 50, though for normal people the retirement age is 58, the tyranny of Indian Politics!).. So Mr. Jaitley, Sushma Swaraj, Venkaiyah Naidu and Anant Kumar are the front runners! But did we notice except for Sushma Swaraj none of them has a mass base.. I dont remember three of them fighting a election and winning (I may be wrong, too lazy to google and check, btw google is the biggest data source for us ).. so the crisis now BJP will face is their young blood (political language) doesn't have mass appeal and mass following.. where as the bhudiya party has a amazing leader Rahul Gandhi (I love the way he has built his appeal and following)..

Will BJP able to find a leader with a MASS APPEAL.. I think the only leader in BJP today which has some appeal (no one can match Vajpayee ji, he is one of my fav. prime ministers) is Mr. Modi.. Gujarat has developed under him but at the cost of Humanity, which for a young Indian (Young in literal sense not political) is unacceptable..

Will BJP survive? Who knows! But one thing is another good idea for modern India has lost in the love for power and position.. Did the same thing not happen with Jinnah..!!!

BJP has a identity crisis.. as they say in marketing... if a product has become a commodity, economies of scale will reap benefits (read Congress has been here for more than 150 years now they have the pulse of India in their hand and people know them).. A 31 year old product (read BJP) can't fight them being a commodity (same issues as caste, religion, reservation etc.) they need to be differentiated.. Vajpayee is a wise man.. He didnt suggest development over RAM without reason.. He always knew BJP needed to stand out to thrash the party which is still credited for Independence of India..!!!

Hope BJP finds sense because till there is no competition, markets can't be efficient!