You know you are a Kashmiri when -
Chai must be had atleast 4 times a day, in the morning, for lunch, at 4, and when you come back from work.
Weddings last for at least a fortnight !
All the women at your parties try to see who can talk the loudest.
You can hear their laughter and even the voh-vohs (gallis) from the basement.
You meet a whole new line of families at Kashmiri gatherings.
You are going to be a daakhtar [doctor].
You drink nun-chai (salted tead) and eat kulchas (kashmiri baked bread)
You can pronounce tchzamun/ tchzarvan
Big noses/ Hooked noses run in your DNA, and if somehow you end up with a different one- people refuse to acknowledge you as a Kashmiri.
You know the correct pronunciations to the song, Rind Posh Maal...
You know many kashmiri phrases such as
- KholAKhar
- Trath Payin
- Kya Gowm
- Balai Lagey
- Shikas Lad
You are the most politically aware kid in your school.
You think you can sing, but you really cant.
When any food you eat is subjected to the wazwaan test, which it inevitably fails. :)
When the first thing you wait for in the morning is to get the tchzot, bakerkhaani, kulcha etc. (type of Kashmir baked breads) from the kaandhur's (baker’s) shop.
When double-tchzot (bread) is given to the spoilt brats, cuz they wont eat the traditional breads.
If you happen to pass all the uncles, you always hear them debating about Kashmiri politics.
You've spied on the wazaa's (cook’s) at your wedding before.
Everyone is your aunty and everyone is you uncle.
You have atleast once rode a crazy horse in Pahelgam or Gulmarg or have heard someone's tales about it.
Your cousin is getting married this summer, so you have to spend all year planning your outfit.
You are always in search of the "vyaes"(the bone marrow :P) in the tsyun (meat)
No meal is a meal without rice.
You never felt the need for having deserts after an enormous wazwaan.
You think you are the only person competent enough to call yourself an Aryan.
Kashmiri is the perfect code language in public places becuase NOBODY knows it.
You've grown up being extremely proud of you culture.
When you are somehow related to that other Kashmiri.
When kashmir fights consist of going "ey ey ey"
Any news piece on Kashmir catches your eyes within 5 miliseconds of your flipping through the newspaper.
People are puzzled when you speak kashmiri.
You prefer Hrithik Roshan to Shah Rukh Khan because he looks- oh so kashmiri !!!
When all the Kashmiri woman talk, no one can hear what anyone else is saying.
You find it hilarious when your watch Kashmiri soap operas and they are trying to act romantic.
Sweety sweety drai duty is you theme song.
You know all about the India-Pakistan separation.
You are close friends with Kashmiri Political Figures.
People respond with "where's that?" when you tell them where your from.
You made a Kashmir stall at your school's cultural fests.
You are sure to bring in the kashmiri connection to anything and everything.
When you dont own any naked baby photos, but have many photos of you in a traditional kashmiri dress taken in Nishad Bagh.
You eat softies at Zero Bridge.
Your dad ate softies at Zero Bridge in college.
When you have rode a shikara on dal lake, and then your driver got into a fight with the guys cuz he was asking for 50 more rupees.
When u enter ur house and ur Mom says- Aakha Tchu (Have you come?)
You go to a Khandar (marriage) and some strange old lady with a bushy hairy mole (just below her nose) will Kiss you right left and center and say- Mai ma zaanakh, bu che chain maas. (Do you know me, I am your massi!)
This is the way Our Uncles will always pronounce the following words
- Six- SIKIS
- Construction- Canastruction.
- Help- Helap
Our relatives Love using Kashmiri words while talking to someone non kashmiri - Raste mai mera toh myada he kharaab ho gaya, Taichi taichi lag gai.
Source: FB Page "You know you are a Kashmiri when"
